You have just met someone really great. They seem to like you too. You feel wonderful! Now comes the pressure – the first date. You are assaulted by various fears. Where do I take her/him? How do I dress? What do we talk about? Should I seem interested or should I hold back? Will they like me? What if it all goes wrong? Here are some secrets on putting your fears to rest…

Secret One – they are more interested in themselves than you.

This is not a bad thing. It is only natural that people are tied up in their own lives and problems. They know a lot more about themselves than about you. They will use this as a point of reference when relating to you. Take a keen interest in what’s happening in their life. This allows you to relax and sit back while they fill you in on themselves and their problems. People love to talk about themselves and they love someone who listens to them even more.

Secret Two – focus on your self-talk.

When on a first date, listen to your inner voice and make sure it is projecting a positive attitude. When you meet your date, say to yourself “She/he likes me.” Talk to your date inside your head as though they could hear you. Say things like “You really are having a great time, aren’t you?” or “you really feel comfortable with me, don’t you?” Although they can’t hear anything, your self talk is boosting your ego and making you feel more relaxed and confident. You will be amazed at the difference this will make.

Secret Three – mistakes happen.

Don’t be too concerned when things go wrong eg. you get lost on the way to your dates house or you call him/her by the wrong name. Realize you made a mistake and move on as quickly as possible. If you focus on something you did wrong it will only draw attention to it. Often you can dissolve something by simply laughing. They will see your lighter side and it will make them feel more relaxed. Remember, nobody’s perfect.

The most important thing when going on a date is to remember to have fun. Don’t take it too seriously. If things don’t work out the way you want them to, learn from the experience and move on. Remember – nothing ventured, nothing gained.


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